Dear Kay,
There have been so many changes since I’ve last written to you! To start with, I got through all of my exams with flying colours, earning me a 1.1 for the first semester (despite all the time I seemed to spend partying)! I’ve made so many new friends in the last few months, Alan and Jack being a notable two. Alan: the most fun loving, hilarious person to have around and Jack: a little doom and gloomy but a real genuine human. The roommate situation hasn’t worked out too badly either! Following the exams in January was a fantastic trip to Poland but in reality, it was probably too soon after the stress of it all to fully enjoy the trip away. It also meant we were straight back into work as soon as we got home.
The next horrendously massive change over the last few months has (of course) been my love life. I think the last time I wrote I had mentioned feeling slightly disillusioned with Murphy. I started to see myself becoming more and more down in his company and realised it was time to cut the cord. I did initially miss having him around but quickly felt much better in myself having let him go. Not long after waving Murphy off, Jack confessed his attraction to me. We shared a few secret kisses and some long nights together enjoying each other’s company. Unfortunately for me, I fell for Jack hard. As in head over heels, cloud 9 hard… It was only when I fell for Jack that I realised I hadn’t let myself feel this for Murphy, which is inevitably why I was so unhappy in his company. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last year and I now know that for me to be fully happy with someone, I need to be all in, 100% committed. Jack on the other hand had different ideas. What we had was lovely but in reality, only a bit of fun and comfort through stressful times. It wasn’t meant to be. January to March were spent mourning the loss of the idea of the perfect romance with a person who was quickly becoming more and more important in my life. This was eased greatly when Jack stopped turning up to classes and started prioritising others over me. The pinnacle of this being at the faculty end of year formal. Jack, a much happier version of his usual self greeted me and commented on the elegance of my appearance. This was more or less all I saw of him for the night. It didn’t bother me all that much as I was surrounded with so many people I’ve grown to love over the last 4 years and enjoying them as best I could was the most important part of the night for me. However, I did not expect Jack to be off with another girl from our class for the evening. A brief moment that revealed a side to my friend I didn’t think existed.
I’ve secretly started seeing another guy from college in the last few weeks. We have been spending more time together being stuck in for late evenings of work and have been growing more and more comfortable with each other. I didn’t think there was much there until we got very drunk at my 22nd birthday and agreed to give it a go! Nothing serious, as we only have a few weeks left of college and will have to see where it goes when we finish up, but for now it’s a bit of fun and takes my mind off some of the stresses we’re facing for the next 2 months.
Finally, and probably the biggest change of them all has been my plan for the next few years of my life. Finishing up college is obviously meaning I need to be thinking about a career or continuing my studies. For the last few months, it’s been crystal clear what my plans for after my degree were… at least until last Thursday that is. I had been planning to get through my exams and jet off to France for a couple of months to enjoy everything the French culture has to offer. From afternoons spent reading in the park with a coffee and a croissant, to evenings overlooking the canal with a glass of wine in hand. Following this I was to come home and start a Master’s degree programme, which I was hoping to get an amazing scholarship for that would see me travelling and working with on exciting projects with an international company for a year. This was the plan. This was what I’ve mulled over in my mind for the last 6 months. I’ve had time to mentally prepare myself for all of the changes and the situations I’d face with my life plan but now a new opportunity has presented itself and has thrown my recipe for success into disarray. I definitely can’t complain about having a decision to make as I’ve been offered a fantastic permanent position with a company I love working for, with people I adore. I just wasn’t expecting such an offer. I had an inkling they might offer me a role with them but not this particular role. Not something that I’m realising might be right up my street. Putting it on paper to you makes it seem like I’d be mad to pass up the opportunity of job stability but it’s also so hard to give up the American dream even if it is short and uncertain. Life’s too short not to take risks! I say that but will I stick to it? Goodness knows…
To do:
- 1 Thesis
- 4 Assignments
- 1 Presentation
- 4 Exams
- 1 Master’s application
- 1 Major life decision
- Buy eggs
Sending all the hugs and kisses,
E
Dear Kay... 